september every year this is gonna be my month, just like any other month but this month is special for me.
yes, for me.
but sometimes i do wonder and lately i don't feels good about everything that i do.
as you already know that i've already lost my goal got no purpose
even though i do have a daily things that need to be done.
but that's it.
i got nothing for a long game.
this is worried me, makes me anxious and make keep asking and asking myself about everything that what will happen.
i let down so many people,
i lied to many people,
the most of all i lie to myself
and GOD
i leave everything for the sake of nothingness
but what i found it just a darkness
that dragging me down
to the rabbit hole
deeper and deeper
keep coming back and back
there's nothing else matter and
no light either, only darkness that cloud my judgement,
clouding my insight.
it's beyond what lies ahead
it's only lives that matter
everyday routine
for anyone else
and for myself
and for everything
the purpose and the plan that i draw it's working but only inside my dream
keep dreaming
without realize that I've been trapped inside without no way out.
only smile that faking and the lies that keep piling up like a garbage that cannot be dissolve and disappear completely
there's always scar remain and only time will tell what's come next.
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